The Working Fire
You have come to the realization that your marriage is in trouble. Sadly, most realize this way too late. It comes when they learn of infidelity or have been served divorce papers. As on a fire scene we have to be proactive, having an Incident Action Plan and or a strategy is the key to the successful mitigation of an incident. In marriage, we need to embrace the plan, God’s plan, and follow His principles.
If you have read the Bible, you will find that the marital relationships that are referenced there are not without fault. Some faced great difficulty, trial, adultery, and some of it is even comical as Solomon wrote, “It is better for a man to live on the corner of a roof top than underneath with a nagging and complaining wife.” (See Proverbs). Ephesians Chapter 5 offers tremendous insight on marriage as well.
Working The Incident
Firefighters tend to be problem/solution oriented. Someone calls for help and we fix their problem. It troubles us to realize that we have a problem that we are not able to solve.
In firefighting, we train, read, exercise and discipline our lives so that when we face adversity we are ready. We have thousands of hours spent on perfecting or learning our craft.
How many hours have you invested in being a better husband or wife?
We need to be putting our house in order: God, our spouse, our children, family, friends etc.
Identifying our problems early on and taking ownership of your part in it shows that you are not trying to blame your spouse. By coming to the one you love in humility and brokenness shows that you truly love them. This shows that you care more about the relationship than more about who is right or wrong.
“Confession is the first step in repair and often the most difficult. Without confession, forgiveness is impossible”
-Big Ideas of the Bible by Mark Fackler
In my life, I always say: “I can right or I can be happy”. Being right is far less important to me that showing my wife that I love her more than life itself
I look back at our wedding day where we stood before God and many witnesses and remember the promise that we made. Do we take that promise lightly?
Do we lessen the value of our commitment when our spouse has wronged us and refuses to change?
In the book “The power of a praying husband”; Stormie Omartian writes, “But God spoke to my heart, saying, it is not a matter of who needs to change, it is a matter of who is willing to change. If you’re willing to change, I (God) can work through you right now.”(pg.22)